Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
