stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
