she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
