If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
