it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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