absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
