yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is Oprah even human
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
