Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
