Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were trust falling into bushes
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
