apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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