Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
