Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
