It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
