I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
