my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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