If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
