She announced her abortion via fbk
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
