what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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