the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize