omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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