Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
where am i from again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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