I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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