I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
