Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
