Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
