Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
