I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
