Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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