Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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