Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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