people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
