And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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