My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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