Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
