it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
