I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
