can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
