you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
