i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
