I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize