Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
