I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
