just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize