Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
