Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
