Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
