I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize