But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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