i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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