You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No I am not eating basil off your cock
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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