She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
