I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
