I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
