So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
ok first of all what the fuck
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
