Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
