I showed him my bush... on skype.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Vodka?
Forever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
