First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
