just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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