I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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