the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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