Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
