Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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